How to Fix Trust Issues in a Relationship — The Luthas Center

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11 Signs You Have Trust Issues

Wondering if you have trust issues in a relationship? First off, if you’re wondering about it, there’s a good chance you might have something worth working on. There are several behaviors that can indicate you might be dealing with a trust issue.

You assume your partner is trying to hurt you

If you have trust issues, you might be inclined to assume others — particularly romantic partners — are doing things on purpose to try and hurt you. You might feel like it’s hard to accept compliments, tender gestures, or even just love. It can be hard for you to believe that your partner does things out of genuine love for you rather than having some ulterior motive.

You tend to avoid commitment

People with trust issues in their relationships might have a hard time committing to a partner. Your intense fear of opening up to others can hold you back, especially in relationships. You fear the vulnerability of being open, and you may even truly believe that a trusting or deep relationship isn’t possible.

You isolate yourself from other people

Sometimes trust issues can transfer into such an intense phobia about commitment that you might have the urge to walk at even the smallest sense of discontent or trouble in a relationship. If you believe you can’t trust your partner, it can become harder to interact with them on a deeper level. Further, establishing and nurturing new relationships can become overwhelming and something you might begin to actively avoid.

You pick fights with your partner

Feeling like you can’t trust your partner might cause you to create intentional turmoil in your relationship. Sometimes you may even find that you’re starting fights or arguments over silly, petty things. Trust issues can lay below the surface until they manifest into much bigger, often unrelated, things that can have a negative impact on your relationship.

You are secretive

It’s not uncommon for people who have trust issues to be secretive themselves. The underlying rationale here is not wanting to open up and be vulnerable out of fear you won’t be accepted or loved if you show your true self. The fear of rejection can ultimately cause you to try and be perfect all the time in an effort to avoid being discarded by an unapproving partner.

You have an innate belief that your partner is trying to hurt or deceive you

Trust issues can lead to believing that someone in your life, yes even your partner, wants to hurt you. Depending on the root cause of your hesitancy to trust, you may convince yourself that you don’t deserve love, so you might believe that of course your partner would be willing to hurt or deceive you at some point.

You’re reluctant to open up to your partner

If you have trust issues, it might be hard for you to open up to others. This can be exasperated when you’re in a romantic relationship. Fear that you’ll be rejected or that your ideas and opinions won’t be valued can make you afraid to be open and honest with your partner. 

You feel overprotective 

It can be common for people with trust issues to feel the need to be overprotective. This can be a need to protect yourself or those you’re closest to. A tendency to imagine the worst possible outcome, or to be defensive about people you care about, can be a byproduct of your inability to trust. Catastrophic thinking can be a big contributor to feeling overprotective.

You have issues with intimacy

It makes sense that trust can affect how intimate you are with your partner. A lack of trust and fear of intimacy can lead to feeling like you can’t connect with the people in your life. If your level of intimacy is being affected by trust issues in a relationship, it can cause problems in other areas of the relationship as well.

You have dramatic relationships

When there’s a lack of trust in a relationship, it can cause very volatile interactions between two people. If you tend to have very dramatic, rocky relationships and you fight with your partner a lot, it might be due to your issues with trust.  

You feel terror during intimate moments with your partner

Being intimate, by definition, means that you experience intense closeness with someone else in a personal relationship. If you’re unable to trust that person, having intimate interactions can lead to feelings of vulnerability that can cause you extreme duress. If it’s to the point where you feel terrified when you’re intimate, it may be time to look at why you’re feeling so insecure with your partner.