How to Get Over Infidelity in Your Relationship — The Luthas Center

Tips for Overcoming Infidelity in Your Relationship

Getting over infidelity requires patience, commitment, reevaluation of your relationship, a lot of thinking, and most of all, forgiveness.

Forgiveness is key

Holding onto past disappointment, hurt, betrayal, anger, and insensitivity are toxic to your (and your relationship’s) well-being. Nursing your pain from infidelity for too long can cause feelings of chronic anger, bitterness, and even hate.

These negative emotions are incredibly harmful to your health and happiness, not to mention a waste of your energy and time.

Not being able to forgive wears you down, both mentally and physically. Harboring resentment will chip away at your peacefulness and destroy the foundation of your current committed relationship, and you’ll also run the risk of ruining future ones, as well.

Research shows us that forgiveness offers several benefits. It can contribute to:

• Improving sleep
• Lowering blood pressure
• Reducing the risk of a heart attack
• Lowering LDL cholesterol levels
• Reducing systemic pain & inflammation

Studies also show that practicing intentional forgiveness lowers levels of depression, anxiety, and stress.

Decide to forgive your partner

It’s important to make a conscious decision to forgive your partner’s infidelity. It’s a choice to go forward with amending your relationship. It’s equally important that your partner is genuinely sorry for their behavior and is fully committed to restoring the integrity of the relationship.

Be prepared for bad thoughts

If you decide to work through your partner’s infidelity, you should probably be prepared for flashes of hurtful images piercing through your mind. Find your peaceful place. Train your mind to let go of negative thoughts and replace them with positive affirmations.

Don’t use your partner’s infidelity as ammunition

If your honest goal is to forgive your partner and move past their infidelity, then you must allow them to move past it too. Don’t use their mistake as a weapon against them. Resist the urge to bring up their act in future arguments or conversations. This will only keep the pain raw and alive and disrupt your happiness.

Understand that you may never understand

Accept that you may never understand the reasons behind your partner’s infidelity. Of course, your capacity to deal with this will depend a lot on your partner’s dedication to not repeating their terrible mistake. Remember that forgiving someone is different than condoning what they did. Be patient with yourself and remember the goal.

Don’t seek retribution

“Revenge sex” is generally never a good idea. It’ll only act to extend and expand the negative emotions you’re already dealing with, usually on both sides. It also most likely won’t help you feel better anyway.